095 — Love Monkey (w/ Maura Johnston)

Cover of Kyle Smith's awful novel, which is called Love Monkey.

What do you call a rom-com that isn’t funny and ends with the main character alone? Love Monkey by Kyle Smith is at least one of the possible answers to that question. We’re joined by the terrific Maura Johnston to talk about living, loving, and working in New York’s media scene in 2001, as presented in a book that starts off with Chuck Norris facts and goes downhill from there. As the proctologist said to his dehydrated client, “This is some dark shit, son.”

(Joke quality definitely intended to indicate book quality.)

Remember that one line from Heathers, “now that football season is over, these guys have nothing to offer except date rape and AIDS jokes”? This book was written by those guys. So get ready for a book that literally only could have been worse if it were Kevin Smith’s instead of Kyle Smith’s — get ready for … Love Monkey.


  • Alex Cameron, Forced Witness
  • King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, Polygondwanaland
  • “Elvis Presley Blues”, Gillian Welch
  • Go see a show!


  • “Tarzan” by Rocket From the Crypt
  • “Thong Song” by Sisqo
  • “Girl O’Clock” by The Dismemberment Plan